It's All Auburn's Fault!!

I recently came up with a fantabulous idea: To make Auburn, the town I live in, the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong in my life. While I love my fair city, and I don't plan on leaving the area anytime soon, it makes for a good excuse.....and it works really well in conversation too. Take heed:

It's hard for me to find a decent-paying job as a writer. "Only in Auburn.....there are no good jobs of ANY kind! This city..."

I was mugged and assaulted, and I got brain damage. "Fucking Auburn!! You'd expect that from a town with one of the biggest prisons in the state! This shit burg...."

I stubbed my toe. "Auuubuurrnnn!!!! I bet there's some kinda weird gravity pull here or something. Jeez, I can't wait to get outta here and onto level ground!"

You get the idea. And chances are, something about the town YOU live in could be equally blame-worthy. So give it a little thought......the scapegoats are all around you. :-)