An Almost-HUGE Mistake

I'll admit it right up front: I have an unbelievable case of hemorrhoids.

I got some ointment from Wegmans, and that helps some. It's in a tube marked "Hemorrhoidal Ointment" in big black letters, and the tube is about the same size and shape as a tube of toothpaste. (And yes, this is going where you think it is.)

I stumbled out of bed late for work this morning. I took a quick shower, and afterwards I got the ointment out of my medicine cabinet and put some on my.....um, my...yeah. Still half-asleep, I put the tube on the bathroom sink.

Right next to the tube of toothpaste.

After choking down a bagel I hobbled still half-asleep into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I noticed as I was squeezing the paste onto my toothbrush that the paste was a weird, gray translucent color instead of green, but I figured my sleepy mind was just playing tricks.

Thank GOD, as I was bringing the brush to my mouth to start brushing, I looked in my other hand, which was still holding the tube of hemorrhoid cream.

I made SURE I bought a new toothbrush on the way home from work this afternoon.